Why Supportive Parenting Works
Jan 14, 2022Here's How (And Why) To Use Supportive Parenting Techniques
The pain and suffering that a child will endure from a parent saying, "You're not pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough ... for pursuing that dream or goal"... The parent not believing hurts far more than it does from an external person, judge, critic, whatever, saying "You're not cut out for that".
It's so much more painful hearing it from your own parent. So that's why I say to parents, 'If you know they can't sing, or you know she's leaving the house with horrendous make-up and clothes. That's not your job to tell her it's horrendous.' It's not. It's ... she'll figure it out for herself. Don't you worry, the other kids will tell her.
The answer to the question "We want to build her confidence and self-esteem," - it will hurt her confidence and self-esteem more for her parents to not believe in her and think that she's awesome and have her back when other people are mean. That will hurt her confidence and self-esteem more than it would be other kids teasing her or the inevitable kind of fallout that's going to happen from them.
It's so much more painful hearing it from your own parent. So that's why I say to parents, 'If you know they can't sing, or you know she's leaving the house with horrendous make-up and clothes. That's not your job to tell her it's horrendous.' It's not. It's ... she'll figure it out for herself. Don't you worry, the other kids will tell her.
The answer to the question "We want to build her confidence and self-esteem," - it will hurt her confidence and self-esteem more for her parents to not believe in her and think that she's awesome and have her back when other people are mean. That will hurt her confidence and self-esteem more than it would be other kids teasing her or the inevitable kind of fallout that's going to happen from them.
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