How To Be A 'Good Parent', By Looking WithinJan 17, 2022
The way you were parented impacts the way you parent your children.
But it’s often not the way you’d choose to be doing it.
I see it in the clinic, where 99% of people want to know how to be a good parent, but don’t know where to begin.
The core issue is not that they’re bad parents or humans. It’s that they’re often not choosing the way they’re parenting.
That’s why I encourage my program members to look within and get curious about their own behavior, triggers and emotional baggage.
What inevitably happens after beginning is they start to see positive change in their children. They become happier, more resilient and emotionally stable.
Do I need to learn how to be a good parent?
Just like driving, riding a bike, and … erm … complex dentistry, knowing how to be a good parent is a skill. And a core part of that skill is understanding yourself and the forces that shaped your personality.
Much of it comes down to examining the way you were parented, and becoming aware of its impact on the way you parent your own children.
It sounds like a lot of heavy lifting, and maybe even counterintuitive.
You might even think you ‘turned out ok’ so this doesn’t apply to you.
But I’ve helped thousands of parents do their own work across two decades, and ‘doing the work’ never fails to transform the way they interact with their children.
Self-reflection is key
Parents who know their triggers, patterns and unconscious influences have better relationships with their children than others who ignore them.
- YOU are the only person who can access the nooks and crannies of your mind.
- YOU can bring awareness to unconscious beliefs and unhelpful patterns that dictate how you interact with your children on autopilot.
- YOU can change the way your children behave and feel about themselves.
I try to be present with my own children every day because I want to make sure I’m giving them the least possible material to take to their future therapy sessions.
And you can do exactly the same thing with your children by first recognising the answer to the question ‘how to be a good parent’ is building a deeper understanding of your own psyche.
It will bring you closer together and give them the support they need to tackle their own challenges head-on.
Date With 8 Journal Template
So, where to start? A great place is my (free) Date With 8 Journal template, which is designed to help you identify the most important things you need to do each day, and encourage self-reflection.
FREE Training: The Parenting R.E.S.E.T.
Evidence-based training for parents who want a better relationship with their strong-willed kids!
Learn why they behave the way they do, the strategies you can use to build connection, and how to start enjoying family time.